Tell Us a Joke.

The following story was based on an interview conducted on the 20 April 2012. It contains excerpts from the interview as well as commentary by the author.

The curtain draws back and I walk out on stage. The lights shine directly in my eyes, blinding me. My heart stops and I take a breath. I make my steps towards the front of the stage. As my eyesight returns I am met with the glares of a packed theatre. The heat from the blaring light causes a sweat to form on my forehead as I grab the microphone from the stand. How did it get here? I am 14. I am a kid, a child, an immature little boy and somehow I end up on stage doing stand-up comedy? I’m not even that funny. All I’ve got is this mic and my mouth, and somehow I have to make an audience laugh. Gulp.

Meet Jordan Schulte; comedian.

(Photo Taken by Tom Newby)

He is 17 now, only just graduated high school last year, lives at home, studies at university, works at City Beach. But at night he performs to crowds as a stand-up comedian. To gig at pubs and clubs around Brisbane, you must be at least 18 years old, but this hasn’t stopped Jordan to becoming one of Brisbane’s up and coming comics. It was during his tenth year of schooling that he was thrown into a stand-up comedy competition that ignited his passion for the stage. His friends are responsible for convincing him to enter the Class Clowns comedy competition where he was to perform five minutes of stand-up material to an audience of strangers. He then became a finalist in the competition, and has craved the microphone ever since.

My friends heard about this competition and thought I should enter, so I did, and I regretted it immediately. I’d never done anything like it before; I’d never even watched stand-up comedy before. How was I meant to write a 5 minute set? But somehow I managed it, and I guess it didn’t go too bad either. I was frantically pacing backstage; I thought I was going to have a panic attack of some kind. Then the emcee called my name, it was my turn. I arrived at the microphone and words started to come out of my mouth. I couldn’t believe it though the audience was laughing! That first laugh is always the hardest to get from an audience, it still is for any comedian, but as soon as I heard the laughter for the first time, the panic, nerves, fear, whatever I was feeling just disappeared and it was all replaced by comfort. I finished my set and people started clapping, as the curtain dropped behind me, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief, thank God it was over; but for some reason all I wanted to do was get straight back out there.

He was never the loud one in class, never the one shouting jokes across the classroom. He was quiet, reserved and a bit of an outcast. He had trouble making friends, but it was through his funny bone that he made a few. It all started here; telling jokes to friends, being the crazy person his mates turned to for a laugh; he had found his market. But it was never more than that. Never more than lunch yard banter with a few of his friends. His grade five teacher told him he would never be a public speaker of any kind. His grade five teacher said that Jordan was one of the most timid, quiet, introverted boys he has ever met in his teaching career. Yet somehow in seven years he would be stumbling onto stage and perform at packed houses in the Brisbane Comedy Festival.

‘You will bomb’. That’s the best piece of advice that someone’s given to me. Inevitably you will die on stage at some point in your career, but what sets you apart from the others is getting back up there, those comics who can get back up after falling flat on their ass. I look back on it and to be honest, I don’t believe it myself. To not even be of age, yet performing festival shows and performing with some of Australia’s top comedians. I try not to take any of it for granted; I try to make the most of every gig I get, because it is really rare to do what I do at my age. It comes as a surprise to most people that I do comedy, because no one would really expect that from the quiet nerd of the class. The most common reaction I’ve gotten from people is “Oh, you’re funny?” which is a great boost for my confidence. The biggest shock was from my parents who are still trying to convince me to ‘get a real job’. I guess they just don’t like the idea of my making a fool of myself for a living, when I could be a lawyer.

Jordan had his first gig when he was 14, by 15 he performed to his first sellout crowd, by 16 he co-wrote, produced and performed in a show at the Brisbane Comedy Festival, by 17 he had opened Brisbane’s first underage open mic room (which will be soon running as an event at the Brisbane Powerhouse) as well as writing and performing in a second show at the Brisbane Comedy Festival. He was always the quiet one, but as soon as he steps out on stage he comes out of his shell. It’s only been four years, and although he’s got a long road ahead of him before he can perform professionally, it’s clear that Jordan won’t be stopping any time soon. Stand-up comedy may not be where the money lies, but it’s where his passion does, and that’s all the driving force he needs.

It’s hard sometimes. Constantly writing; worried that you’re not good enough; scared that your jokes won’t register with an audience. I sometimes even question why I do this. I’ve written jokes sometimes that I found absolutely hilarious, then it fails time after time and you have no choice but to drop it. That’s what the industry’s like, no matter what you think, the audience are the final judge, if it’s funny it’s funny, if it’s not, they will let you know, through soul destroying silence. But there is something about stand-up that always brings me back; I have an addiction to the microphone. This is what I want to do more than anything. When you destroy your set, and everyone’s laughing, you are engulfed by a total euphoria. 

I don’t think I can get that from any other profession, I must perform.